For Family and Friends of an Alcoholic

What if someone you know and love is struggling with alcohol dependence? It can be a difficult subject to broach, and even if you do bring it up, there is no guarantee that they’ll listen to what you have to say. If you truly care about someone, however, it’s important to take action about their alcohol abuse, for their own health and for your well-being too. Here are some things to keep in mind, when helping a friend or family member with an alcohol problem.

How Do I Know If They Have A Problem?

You might suspect that someone has an alcohol problem, but how can you know for sure? First, consider the four symptoms of alcoholism: craving, physical dependence, tolerance, and loss of control. Does your loved one experience one or more of these symptoms? Consider the following questions. If you can answer yes to one or more of them, your friend or family member may very well have an alcohol problem.

  • Have outside observers commented or remarked on their drinking?
  • Do they feel bad or guilty about their drinking, or attempt to hide it?
  • Do they ever drink alone, or at odd times of the day (such as first thing in the morning).
  • Has their drinking not only impacted their own life, but the lives of those closest to them?

How Can I Help Them?

The first thing you should do is suggest that they see a doctor. A physician can determine if they do have a drinking problem and set up an appropriate treatment plan. If they don’t want to see a doctor or listen to your concerns about their drinking, there are still a number of things you can do to bring their drinking to their attention.

  • Time Your Discussion: While you may feel angered when your loved one is drinking or has gotten drunk, this isn’t the time to intervene about their drinking. Consider waiting until their drinking has caused a problem, like after an accident or argument, and when you are both sober and calm.
  • Use Examples: Bring up concrete examples of when their drinking has caused a problem, either in their own life or in the life of their loved ones.
  • Stop Covering Up: Oftentimes, those closest to the drinker will shield them from the results or consequences of their drinking. It is important to stop helping cover up, and allow the drinker to see exactly where their drinking has gotten them.
  • Be Helpful: Gather information about alcoholism and alcohol dependency treatment in your area. Be ready with phone numbers to schedule an appointment with a doctor or rehab center. Offer to go with them to the appointment or to a help group like Al Anon.

How Can I Help Myself?

Family members and friends of an alcoholic may be experiencing life problems, anxiety, and stress themselves due to their loved one’s problem. There are a number of groups that offer support to those affected by alcoholism. Alateen is specifically for children of alcoholics, and Al-Anon has partner support groups.

More Groups and Resources:

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